The emotional weight of going home for the holidays and its impact on mental health – The Cauldron
The holiday season is here, and with the snow also comes a time of returning home to see family. As joyous as it may feel to be with loved ones, the pressure of the visit can cause stress.
Home for the holidays
The holiday seasons can have strains on mental health, with financial interruptions, packing up and traveling home, cooking a large meal for gatherings and navigating busy stores to find the perfect gift for a loved one. Going home to visit family can feel restraining, as the added tension of having to be a part of family activities can make everything too overwhelming.
There can be a pressure of needing the “perfect” holiday season amongst families who are seeing relatives that they have not seen in some time. The persistence of visiting with family, both distant and close, can cause stressful situations and gatherings that can lower one’s holiday cheer.
“U.S. adults are feeling joyous but overwhelmed this holiday season, as nearly nine in 10 (89%) say that concerns such as not having enough money, missing loved ones and anticipating family conflict cause them stress at this time of year,” said the American Psychological Association.
Meeting expectations to be everywhere and see everyone can cause feelings of panic and overstimulation. As much as one may want to not let their family get under their skin, it can oftentimes be easier said than done.
Endless expectations
Having to hide a difference of personality and beliefs during the holidays can add an extra layer of stress and anxiety that causes a drift in one’s mood. During a big get together, one may feel like they have to hide personality traits, political stances or religious beliefs. After a while, putting on a facade can get stressful and allow one to feel trapped or secluded.
Not only this, but the expectation of having a flawless holiday celebration can get very overstimulating quickly. One may feel like there is no room for mistakes and that everything needs to go according to plan. This feeling can lead to an uproar of anxiety that can make any holiday gathering turn into an organization list, rather than a time to be spent with family.
The Cauldron met with a first year student at Akron University, Jayden Tomasik.
“Politics certainly affects my family stress as I am the only far left leaning person in not just my immediate family, but also most of my extended family,” said Tomasik. “The most stressful thing for me however is the familial expectations. My mom always wants everything to be perfect which makes me want to make everything perfect which usually ends up failing.”
A study from the American Psychiatric Organization found that two in five Americans reported that there had been arguments with family due to disagreements regarding controversial political issues. From controversial topics, one in five Americans had become estranged from a family member, blocked a family member or skipped a family gathering.
Returning home after living on campus can feel restraining to some students, making them feel like they once again have to abide by their families rules and no longer have their own independence.
The unspoken family
The holidays can be noted as a time of celebration and reconnection with those we haven’t seen in a long time. However, those who no longer talk to certain families can have spurts of emotions that can lead to a less joyous holiday. Whether it’s the passing of a loved one, grudges that have never been resolved or even the uncomfortability of a petty family member can cause an increase in anxiety and nervousness.
The Cauldron spoke with a Stark State University student who preferred to remain anonymous because of familial reasons.
“A lot of the family on my mom’s side I used to spend the holidays with have passed away, and a lot of the ones who are alive we are no-contact with. Sometimes it stings a little bit to remember the big Christmases we used to have with the entire family when I was little, but I love the special time and traditions I get to spend with my mom.” said an anonymous responder.
The holiday season can bring sadness and grief when dealing with family estrangement. The persistence of having to handle family who one has grown far from or dealing with the responsibilities that come with it can make for an agonizing event packed with stressful questions and conversations.
Katherine Brooks, a first year at Walsh University, discussed her experience with The Cauldron.
“Ever since my Grandmother passed earlier this year, there has been a split in the extended family due to the sketchiness of her death so there is definitely some family I don’t want to see,” said Brooks. “Just from seeing everyone there is a lot of catching up to do, and with that, a lot of questions and I hate questions.”
The pressure of the perfect holiday, expectations from family you don’t want to see and handling the stress that comes with wrapping up the semester can feel like a lot. However, suppressing the emotions of grief and stress can make it worse. Allowing oneself to take breaks and breathers can help calm panic and can provide a fresh start to a gathering.
If you or someone you know is in need of mental health resources, Cleveland State University offers a counseling center located on the 12th floor of Rhodes Tower, RT1235. They offer multiple, free therapeutic programs.
The Cleveland State mental health emergency call line is (216)-687-2277.